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GOOD 'ODE BURTON WEEK

The wind at Weymouth was offshore

On- five days out of six.
It veered, it bent or just dried up,

Caught many by its tricks.

Richards was the man to beat
His "Bouncer" spanking new.
Loose footed main, close sheeted Jib,

And Champion Moth as crew.

With Dagger Board again of course,

Saved weight and lowered drag.
Mast bend device and many strings

And spinney in a bag.

The Burton, won by "Bouncer"
Was nearly null and void.
Adjustment of the final beat
Wasn't clearly buoyed.

A little ketch with hooter
Signalled where to go.
But the alteration
Nearly flummoxed Joe.

That wise guy David Stevens
Thought he could crack the rules.
"'The course was straight to finish,
The gybe mark just for fools !".

The intrepid Doctor Steavenson
Gave their Lordships all a fright.
Called "Starboard" on a frigate,
He was in the right !

Johnny Royce, he was there
Bionic Barb his crew.
Didn't have a brilliant week
Except the day it blew.

That day he shot out from the line

Speeding like a rocket.
But shoulders, aching with the strain,

Hired Osteo (path) for socket,

Chris Edwards sank again this year
A measley fifth his best.
Is he too old to come again ?
Has Mulga lost his zest ?

Nigel, crewed by Edwards' fan
Never won a race,
But Punkawallah keeping cool
Just made the second place.

Dalby, that improved helmsman
Went missing Sunday night.
On Monday with the Great Escape
He got the windshift right !

Martin Jones sailed well
Highest Clinker boat.
Aggressive, though and lots of chat,

Sinks anyone afloat.

Stevy Goacher's claim to fame
Came from rounding marks.
He caused an Inquisition
And several rude remarks

Robinson was premature,
'Twas a sorry sight
His Kamikaze coups de grace,
Gave some a nasty fright.

East arrived with borrowed Cat,
Looked all sharp and keen.
The fickle weather of the week
Was clearly not his scene.

Raffles ruffled status quo
With some hot results
A Pipedream from the Waller Stud;

Went like a dose of salts.

Chauvinists had best watch out
The girls are getting quicker !
Cathy won the Money Cup
By the merest nicker.

Mike Wigmore, Cathy's burly crew

Collected prize in drag.
His dress and heels suited well,
He made a grand old bag.

Far those unmentioned, never mind

Better luck in Wales,
Get that dreamboat finished and
For God's sake pray for gales.

Now I am here while you are there,
All seeking inspiration
To contrive that new design
To wrest for me the Burton.

Anonymous With apologies, to Alfred Lord Tennyson, Edward Lear and Pam Ayres (not necessarily in that order),  
 

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